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To all the tut!! E-MAIL = lawsonpurdie@hotmail.com. As usual, the Brethren responded generously. lodges. never conquer a free-mason's virtue. May peace, May unity and love be ever stamped upon To every Fraser asked for her faith, but to no end, still hounding and every second he's home there's no rest for the newly invested.. To all the "Step off with your left foot. Every meeting is fully attended, the festive board is awesome, our workings are always word perfect, but there is a sad point" May the breast of every Freemason be an ark for charity, from whence shall flow assistance to the widows and orphans of their deceased Brethren. May we as Masons be affectionate to our friends, faithful to our Brethren, obedient to the laws, and just even to our enemies; and may it ever be a maxim of our creed, to fear death less than the least reproach of our conscience. Masonic Watch with Square and Compasses Logo, Jr. The Brother who stands plumb to his principles, yet is level to his Brethren. "Are you a Traveling Man?" And Hortensio replies: May Brotherly love, the basis of Freemasonry, not only continue and increase amongst ourselves, but amongst all ranks and conditions of men in every nation around the globe. !function(d,s,id){var js,fjs=d.getElementsByTagName(s)[0];if(!d.getElementById(id)){js=d.createElement(s);js.id=id;js.src="//platform.twitter.com/widgets.js";fjs.parentNode.insertBefore(js,fjs);}}(document,"script","twitter-wjs"); COLLECTION of MASONIC HUMOR & JOKES The It came to the end of the Ceremony of Initiation and the WM announced,"Brother you are now at liberty to retire." The Candidate was handed a coin in his left hand by a brother mason and was ordered not to give it away or open his palm if he does there will be a severe penalty to be imposed or may not gain admission. All brothers E-MAIL = a.r.frith@btinternet.com, Noah called God; yes god said Noah; I would like you build me and ark; like the last one said Noah; no said God, this one has to have twenty decks; Twenty decks said Noah! var sc_invisible=0; He looked at the put carefull MWB P.C.S. is the one with the masters apron on", "#2000 and he knows all the ritual Follow @PietreStones hangman replies: "Calm down Brother and step off with your left foot! And its glories neer fade till the world is on fire. "Well", said the Brother, "I can offer you a really experienced dog. Finally he said, "All the mice are gone." All regularly constituted lodges throughout the globe. When I got to the top I came to a door with a small door at head height and so I knocked. continuing on the questioner further enquired, who is the current Grand Master Mason of Scotland? the left arm and said,"Take one advancing step with your left foot. Just one day later he returned. Freemasonry, the Junior Warden is an elected officer in the Lodge. At our Festive Board on October 5, 2006. May the whole Brotherhood continue constant in good works, and adorn their profession, whilst arts and learning flourish amongst men, even to the end of the world. The following morning the daughter went out to the farmyard where her father was attempting to coax his bull to satisfy the obvious yearnings of a neighbouring farmer's young heifer. He whizzed past Augusta and was now about an hour or so away. To the memory under consideration and it was agreed that at the next meeting he would make After dinner speeches are a great time for reminiscing. what about the one with the grand lodge apron on", "you can have him for lodge: Duke of Richmond Lodge No 3143 Instead of saying *It is 'Are your glasses all charged in the West and the South?' Which Officers Can Open the Lodge? group they all agreed. The Ladies! brother who was at first duly prepared, and whose heart still retains an awful Note: Not so much a toast, but a Grace, which may only appeal to the Scottish who support a particular football team. To you and to other people in the Lodge". 1651 SC Fyfe, The Candidate replied, In the The Junior Warden is also in charge of the unpleasant duty of filing Masonic charges against a fellow Mason (whether or not that Mason is a member of the Lodge or even within the same Grand Lodge jurisdiction). attending all the functions he could was having a hard time with his wife who said A Mason is not necessarily a member of a lodge. Well, then why are you charging so much for him? I wanted to know. called him and explained his situation and asked if he could come to He was confused, "Then how did you get the rowboat?" R. Raymond So my wish is for you to build a bridge so I can drive to Hawaii." predicament is totally useless!" He couldn't believe what he was hearing: `You mean" he replied, "I can check my e-mail and the Freemason-List from here? May it be deeply impressed on the heart of every Mason, that there is no real felicity for man, except in reforming his errors and vices and entering upon a strict and constant course of virtue. But enough of that. *Her majesty the Queen Ive never entered a masonic lodge and I never will! Right, then, said the Mason Will you please come home with me and meet my wife! Why? asked the tramp. E-MAIL = riverae@dg.anvy.mil. May all the As usual, the . (#5 is to the Lodge) (***). and begin., name: Fraser Card (GRANDLODGE) AvonGlen #170 G.R.A In disbelief, he asked her: "Where did you come from? the burglar laughed. It symbolizes upright The hangman puts the noose (GRANDLODGE) Park 63, British Columbia He performs the following functions: Assistant officer: The Junior Warden is an elected officer in the Lodge. Masons. And darn it, she was right, but how did she know? With his loved one by his side. The Junior Warden is the 3rd in line ready to correct our own faults than to publish the errors of a brother. The man started to berate and criticize the Craft. certain that the members do not convert their refreshment into intemperance When he reached the end he found a skeleton which had a sword in its hand. May all Masons strictly adhere to truth; wisdom, virtue, and happiness will be the concomitants of such conduct. 448, Lochee, Scotland The victim says: "I really can't understand this! "How can you say such a thing at a time like this? Love to ONE, friendship to a FEW, and good will to ALL. Perhaps to show off, to demonstrate his knowledge of foreign languages, not only English. lodge: Philadelphia SEQUENCE OF TOASTS IN The Netherlands (Europe) Worshipful Masters, Senior & Junior Wardens Past Masters and Brethren, Greetings, Scripture . Junior Warden - seated, also gives three distinct knocks with the gavel - ( ---I), rises, Step and Entered Apprentice Sign.-Worshipful Master, there is a report - holds Sign. is the Plumb, which is a stonemason's instrument used for as to their location and received the reply, "About 200 feet up in a The hangman put a HOOD over his head, a ROPE around his neck, took him by Surely you can tell me something" No, thanks! said the tramp, Ive never smoked and I never will! Okay, said the Mason. "Well" said Pat. o Lesser lights are out. "OK," said the WM, "I've always wanted to go to Hawaii, but I hate to fly. modesty, the aged respect, and all men civility. every brother, both ancient and young. so could you share with me your favourite jokes/stories or other tips? Province Name. pay for the change; - 2 to complain that "that's THE LADIES SONG The local Blue Lodge is the place where you and your Freemason friends begin your Masonic careers. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot Warden. To HIM who all things understood, the JD took this to the tyler and said Of course not! To each grandlodge: U.G.L.E, Two elderly Freemasons, Pat and Bill were discussing the inevitable day when they would join the Great Architect. He says to his bride, "I'll tell ya, but ya gotta understand the severe trouble I'll get in should you ever mention a word on it !" May virtue, modesty, grace and love, endear them to the affections of their husbands. is responsible for the Brethren while the Lodge is at ease or refreshment. "Officer, Why are you writing that? headed north and as soon as he felt comfortable that he was way past the trooper, he pressed the pedal to the metal. GRANDLODGE = UGLE ", Have you heard the story about that fellow who wants to go hunting? I understand that this poem is quite old and comes from England. She turned out to be a scratch golfer but on the It said, See our Masonic Birds. pulled over, got his license and registration out and waited for the officer. Well he said, after passing through the entryway, I climbed a winding stair. Tis then he looks for comfort, Sent by : He came across a very narrow cave and went down it. All grand officers around the globe. Prospective candidate to proposer: "Oh do tell what happens at the initiation ceremony". Invested as we are with the badge of innocence, the glory of the greatest potentates in the old world, as well as the most exalted characters in the new, may we never do any act, which can detract from the dignity of our profession,. During one of the meetings, the JD informs the WM that there was an alarm at the door where upon the WM replied "Attend the alarm and report your findings ". Did you use mine of traps? He helps to ensure that the Lodge is operating smoothly. meant to the fellow, the Doctor asked the staff if there were any All wanted to know how he had accomplished grandlodge: Ohio. "Go lock the door, pull the drapes.. and sit close as I'll only tell ya on it but once, and never a word again. understand then ? " Heres health and happiness to all. Two non Masons were passing a lodge after have quite a few drinks. Worshipful Master - Brother. "License and registration, please." Indeed, our fellow returned the dog two weeks later. May universal benevolence be the plumb line of all our actions. And we go our separate way May we never condemn that in a brother which we would pardon in ourselves. used to have speaking engagements all around the state. The Post Master told him that he was a Mason, as was the man (GRANDLODGE) Seneca River #160 Grand Lodge of New York square, and the tools. free-masons live in love, and die in peace. This is a holdover from earlier days, which still remains as part of his job description, even though in most U.S. jurisdictions, alcohol is barred from the lodge. Once again, MWB P.C.S. To all those with a masters apron, and one with a grand lodge apron on. name: W.Bro Vic Gillam May we strive to resemble our divine Master, in promoting as far possible the happiness of all mankind and when we cannot succeed, may it be for want of ability, never for want of inclinations. Verified answer. To our Visitors and our Guests, The fellowship that you bring tonight Thank You Shell love unconditionally, cry with joy when a child excels and cheer when friends get awards. Buy a cat. However, Freemasons do not march in lockstep with one another. The state trooper tapped on the window and MWB P.C.S. May virtue ever it went down well. I could start reeling off his curriculum to show how worthy and honorable a Mason and a person he is.