Inspirational Retirement Quotes Funny Quotes About Retirement Funny Retirement Quotes For Women Maxine Retirement Quotes Funny Life Quotes Abraham Lincoln Quotes Albert Einstein Quotes Bill Gates Quotes . Retirement is like coming home one day and telling your wife honey i m home for good. We help. Best wishes! This positive song reminds people that retirement isn't a final goodbye. A leader is one who knows the way, goes the way. as you follow in His way, A cop gives a woman a speeding ticket, and she wants to know why he didnt give her a warning first. QuotesGram. Sargent: "Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner." Woman: "I bet the bastard will say I was speeding too." sergeant police joke confession woman driver speeding. Facts about financial success later in life! When a good cop leaves the 'job' and retires to a better life, many are jealous, some are pleased and yet others, who may have already retired, wonder. individuals can use on their own behalf to help think through their future plans, but should not be You cant win until you do this. Retirement is not impossible, get ahead with these tips to get ready! Quotes tagged as "retirement" Showing 1-30 of 160. 49 Police retirement Poems ranked in order of popularity and relevancy. He had them stumped. Sheriff, "Retirement is wonderful. Financial peace isnt the acquisition of stuff. This webpage contains inspirational retirement quotes and funny retirement quotes. Custom and user added quotes with pictures. quotesgram.com. I got a call from the police station saying they want to interview me. We have rebelled against them. Margaret Nash, Retirement means no pressure, no stress, no heartache unless you play golf. Gene Perret, I work harder now that I have retired from corporate life, than when I actually worked, but I love it. Catherine Pulsifer, I am a free man. Chris Pine, "Don't act your age in retirement. Ella Harris, You have to put off being young until you can retire. Goodbye Tension. So I went back to the charity shop and retrieved all her old clothes. If you dont mind, it doesnt matter. services professional who has a fiduciary relationship with you before making any type of investment or The best part about is that they will be relatable to just about. Soni, It is better to live rich than to die rich. Samuel Johnson, If people concentrated on the really important things in life, thered be no shortage of fishing poles. Doug Larson, As for me, except for the occasional heart attack, I feel as young as I ever did. Robert Benchley, The trouble with retirement is that you never get a day off. Abe Lemons, You have to put off being young until you can retire. Unknown, There is a whole new kind of life ahead, full of experiences just waiting to happen. Here's hoping for a fun, rewarding and restful life.". A word of warning. - Greg Tamblyn " You gain two new best friends upon your retirement. Thats what he is here for. Why did the NYPD show up at the Mets game? Explore our collection of motivational and famous quotes by authors you know and love. We collect and curate only the best quotes, and display them in a clutter free, aesthetic list. Happy retirement.". - Gail Sheehy. Retirement is not a life without purpose; it is the ongoing purpose that provides meaningfulness. Discover and share Police Retirement Quotes Funny. Why did the coffee call the police? These quotes are perfect to wish your retiring boss, teachers, doctors and co-workers. A beautiful and sentimental law enforcement poem to mark the special occasion of a police officers retirement. A personalized best wishes and inspirational quote is an ideal way to honor the retiring police officer who spent his or her lifetime protecting and serving the community. I'm pretty jealous of you, but needless to say, I'm happy for your retirement. They say, Speed Limit 65.'. What would you do if I stole a kiss? Henry Ford, Retirement is a blank sheet of paper. When I was sixty-five I still had pimples." -George Burns All the best!". Our goal is to help you by delivering amazing quotes to bring inspiration, personal growth, love and happiness to your everyday life. Kitty ONeill Collins, I never had the sense that there was an end: that there was a retirement or that there was a jackpot. Police departments should continue to hire individuals of the highest possible character, so that young people look at the police in their cities and towns and say, "I want to be like that." "I've missed more than 9,000 shots in my career. Peter Lynch. Get great tips for managing money in retirement, What happens if you really do run out of money in retirement, 22 smart and easy ways to boost retirement savings, 4 ways to find meaning and purpose in retirement. Read more quotes about aging, retirement and motivation: Sedona Winds Retirement Communityoffersindependent living in Sedona, Arizona, can help! When You Retire, by Tree.Cards When you retire, you get to sleep more, Vince Lombardi, "The trouble with retirement is that you never get a day off." Happy retirement my dear friend. What happens when a police officer goes to bed? Police Quotes Police Humor Police Officer Cop Wife Police Wife Life Police Lives Matter Be My Hero Leo Love Law Enforcement which is why so few can do it well. Which dinosaurs were the best policemen? Unknown, "The harder you work, the harder it is to surrender." As she dug through her purse, she became more and more agitated. Mario Puzo, You can be young without money but you cant be old without it. Retirement! Richard Armour, The best time to start thinking about your retirement is before the boss does. Funny Retirement Card For Men and Women, Retirement Cards For Him Or Her, Single Large 5.5 x 8.5 Happy Retirement Cards For Women, Large Retirement Card For Coworker - Karto - You've Worked 32 $849 FREE delivery Wed, Feb 15 on $25 of items shipped by Amazon Some call it 'retirement.' John Barrymore, You know youre getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while youre down there. To the People of the State of New York. You can get more money, but you cannot get more time. There's more time for leisure but retirees take many different paths. People worry so much about aging, but you look younger if you dont worry about it. "Congratulations on your retirement!". Give Without Remembering and It's doing nothing without worrying about getting caught at it." - Gene Perret "I enjoy waking up and not having to go to work. Dwight D. Eisenhower, Planning is bringing the future into the present so that you can do something about it now. I cant get old; Im working. Junior Seau. Oliver Wendell Holmes, The best is yet to come! How can you tell if you are looking at a police glow worm? shop 5STARGRAPHICDESIGN. Maggie Kuhn, Sooner or later Im going to die, but Im not going to retire. Get to know the people behind the company and the mission behind the work, Enterprise Source Unknown, Do it yourself retirement planning: easy, comprehensive, reliable. as He inspires you every day. I call it bliss. I said, Scissors. ~ Ernie Harwell. Author Unknown, Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save. Bill Waterson, "Say goodbye to tension and hello to your pension." "Enjoy your newfound freedom and make the most of it. It is the only pleasure I have left. Did you hear about the two peanuts who walked through a bad neighborhood? 18. If a robber robs a house under renovation and accidentally leaves his handprint on wet cement. You've done your hard time and now it's time to enjoy some freedom! Financial Planning Author Unknown, To find joy in work is to discover the fountain of youth. Pearl S. Buck, Dont think of retiring from the world until the world will be sorry that you retire. J. The best part about retirement is that you don t have to worry about getting caught for doing nothing. 32. 57. We have now done so much for so long with so little, we are now capable of doing anything with nothing. I get to enjoy all the things I never stopped to notice on the way up. The goal is to enjoy it the fullest, but not so fully that you run out of money. Are you a police officer? We strongly recommend that you seek the advice of a financial It is the beginning of the open highway. Unknown, Dont act your age in retirement. . Except for an occasional heart attack I feel as young as I ever did. Oh, how jealous I am of you You make me feel blue! Funny retirement cake sayings are always a big hit (though not always appropriate for a workplace event). 56. An officer pulls over a man for speeding. "The best time to start thinking about your retirement is before the boss does.". Why did the police arrest the turkey? Sheesh, I thought you were the cop here., Perp: With my parents. Cop: Where do your parents live? Perp: With me. Cop: Where do you all live? Perp: Together. Cop: Where is your house? Perp: Next to my neighbors house. Cop: Where is your neighbors house. Perp: If I tell you, would you believe me? Cop: Tell me. Perp: Next to my house.. Sort: Relevant Newest # love # happy # work # job # greetings . Have you been eating donuts?, 6. It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating. Plan the celebration with a personalized retirement plaque. "Retirement is wonderful. retirement savings in an IRA or qualified plan such as a 401(k). Hi Pension. 6. Happy Retirement Quotes & Sayings In this section, you'll find both inspiring and funny retirement quotes you can add to a retirement greeting card message. Looking for humorous notes and quirky messages to write on a sweet card or to use in a speech. 5. David Gill 0 Likes The current institutionally provided retirement plans will not cover people's needs upon retirement. "This Ain't Goodbye" by Train. The retired guy goes to the doctor and says, "Doc, I ache all over. Tennessee Williams, Dont look for the need in the haystack. 51. I did not write the law. Fred Rogers, Work is the curse of the drinking classes. which every Judge takes, outside these city walls, into the cursed Earth. An officer stops a man for speeding and notices he's not wearing his required prescription glasses. Live well and prosper. Act like the inner young person you have always been." Add some lighthearted sarcasm and entertaining tidbits by drawing on famous retirement quotes and sayings from comedic characters, Marvel heroes, favorite reality stars, and more: Bowery King: "You're not very good at retiring. Bill Watterson, Calvin and Hobbes, Our life, exempt from public haunt, finds tongues in trees, books in the running brooks, sermons in stones, and good in everything. Unknown, "The best time to start thinking about your retirement is before the boss does." Me: I'd like to interview the bartender wearing high heels and a leopard print dress. My wife gets mad at me because I always take things literally. The cop asked to see her drivers license. Danny McGoorty"My retirement plan is to get thrown into a minimum security prison in Hawaii." He approaches her and asks, Are you OK? The woman replies, Yes, but how do I get to the hospital? The officer says, Just keep standing there.. You ll laugh or cry when you read these famous quotations about retirement. Now that leadership is gone. Think of all the lives you've helped in your career. But sometimes you're looking for the perfect idea for someone really special, and you need something creative and unique. What is small, has a long tail and works with the police? I was arrested by the grammar police for not using the full stop correctly. What's five times five?" "Twenty five," says Martin. Check out our funny police quotes selection for the very best in unique or custom, handmade pieces from our prints shops. "I'm the police, and I'm here to arrest you. I saw a fruit running from the police recently. You Served Honestly, Faithfully and Retirement's the most wonderful thing. He says to the man, Were going to have to give you a drug test. Without hesitation, the man replies, Cool, which drugs are we testing?, 8. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter." - Mark Twain "Retirement: no job, no stress, no pay!" - Unknown "Retire from work, but not from life." - M.K. The cop gets out of his car and walks to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, 'Got stuck, huh?'. Police retirement is something special. I was old when I was twenty-one and out of work. Women go right on cooking." 11. Well done on Crossing the Bridge you now can just sit and relax. You grow old when you stop laughing. George Bernard Shaw, To me, retirement means doing what you have fun doing. Dick Van Dyke, Retirement is wonderful if you have two essentials: much to live on and much to live for. Unknown, Retirement: thats when you return home from work one day and say, Hi honey, Im home forever. Gene Perret, Retirement is not the end of the road. 23. Funny retirement quotes for your boss. And, of course, there have to be a few funny letter boards and signs! After 5 hours sitting in the bar, a man was in no shape to drive, wisely left his car parked and walked home. George Burns, You dont stop laughing when you grow old, you grow old when you stop laughing. to the New York Police Department. Abe Lemons. 8329 matching entries found. vision, and trust you instill in us! It is what we do." -Police Officer Andrew Laurinec. Here's to making your retirement a dream come true! "I'm not retiring. Its only my hat that makes me look that old.. My friend was killed by a 2 ton sack of falling chickpeas. I am graduating. You must gain control over your money or the lack of it will forever control you. They apply financial concepts in a general manner and include You may also share these fun retirement quotes. RELATED: These Funny Comebacks And Insults Are What Our Minds Are Really Made Of. Before you spend, earn. Enjoy your new 7 day weekend We keep a photo of you in the office just remember that you now are in your garden, drinking your coffee and we are doing your job man! Police Officer Gift Plaques & Custom Awards for Sale. The police had to comb the area. Alan Lakein, 7 ways to bring your future into the present, Preparation for old age should begin not later than ones teens. 24. Upon retirement, you will take the long walk . 2. The officer says, Maam, there are warnings posted up and down this highway. Ernest Hemingway, Theres no retirement for an artist, its your way of living so theres no end to it. 500 matching entries found. happy days are here at last! Before you criticize, wait. Retirement: That's when you return from work one day and say, "Hi, Honey, I"m home - forever." - Gene Perret " You know it's time to retire when the guys ask you if you're "getting any," you think it means sleep. Anonymous Ifyou feel like theres something out there that youre supposed to be doing, it you have a passion for it, then stop wishing and just do it. Its doing nothing without worrying about getting caught at it. Gene Perret, The best time to start thinking about your retirement is before the boss does. Unknown, You dont stop laughing when you grow old. in all your future endeavors! The best funny retirement wishes for coworkers and colleagues include: The days of 9-5 are past! Youll Laugh (or Cry) When You Read These Famous Quotations About Retirement. Henry Moore, Musicians dont retire; they stop when theres no more music in them. "It's your turn. There s a retired person in the premises with not a lot to do and plenty of stories to tell. Steve Young, A retired husband is often a wifes full-time job. We wish you the best retirement possible. 2023 NewRetirement, Inc. All rights reserved. My last job was working at Starbucks, but I had to quit because it was always the same old grind. All sorted from the best by our visitors. 10. Retirement Quotes. 14. There is no requirement that police stop a person who enters a police station and states that he wishes to confess a crime or a person who calls the police to offer a confession because volunteered statements of any kind are not barred by the 5th Amendment. So increasingly will be peace. Funny Retirement Quotes "Retirement is wonderful. Unknown, Expect the best. 47. You deserve a great retirement, but I know you will still keep yourself busy. 12. POLICE OFFICER WIFE, Personalized, Prayer. They suspected it of fowl play. Love sharing with your friends and family? 60. Who works in tandem with the grammar police? A police officer pulled me over and said, Papers.. What do police officers do when they are on the volleyball court? Show me a sample retirement speech! Their names are Bed and Couch. To me a job is an invasion of privacy." Funny police retirement quotes sayings. William Shakespeare, Choose a work that you love and you wont have to work another day. We, the Officers of the Hartford Police The largest collection of retirement one line jokes in the world. are presented without warranty. 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Mason Cooley, Men do not quit playing because they grow old; they grow old because they quit playing. So here are some more great ideas for the boys (and girls) in blue! Funny I dont remember applying for a job there. So if youre looking for inspiration, youve hit the mother lode. Ella Harris, "When a man retires and time is no longer a matter of urgent importance, his colleagues generally present him with a watch." Think about retirement as being two six month holidays per year. Share this quote on facebook send via mail. George Foreman, People may live as much retired from the world as they like, but sooner or later they find themselves debtor or creditor to some one. There are some who start their retirement long before they stop working. present this to you in recognition of Among other things, NewRetirement 20 Cops Memes Humor In 2020 Cops Humor Police Humor Cop Jokes . Oh, my friend, that can't be! Why did the officer give the ghost a ticket? may Gods blessings be upon you We've found several retirement quotes and sayings that will fit their personality. Are you married to a police officer? Robert Delamontague, "Retirement is the only time in your life when time no longer equals money." "May all the years ahead bring you great joy and relaxation.". The real measure of your wealth is how much youd be worth if you lost all your money. 49. Open up! Soni "It is better to live rich than to die rich." - Samuel Johnson The public are the police and the police are the public, and both share the same responsibility for community safety. Louis Armstrong, Retirement is a one-way trip to insignificance. Sandra Day OConnor, Retirement is not in my vocabulary. Happy Retirement! West, "Stay young at heart, kind in spirit, and enjoy retirement living." If you look at what you have in life, youll always have more. Nothing is impossible, the word itself says Im possible! 6. Before he knows it, the bridge is right in front of him and his truck gets wedged under it. William Shakespeare, Age to me means nothing. Voltaire, The human race is faced with a cruel choice: work or daytime television. Your email address will not be published. Showing search results for "Police Retirement" sorted by relevance. The police are the public and the public are the police; the police being only members of the public who are paid to give full time attention to duties which are incumbent on every citizen in the interests of community welfare and existence. 1) Retirement is the beginning of the time when you can sit back and give advice to others, even though you never followed it in your own life. I hope you like the new precinct you've been transferred to - the couch! A bloody clock!" Know what you own, and know why you own it. Take Without Forgetting. You are one of the hardest workers I have ever known. Good Luck with Your Retirement which is going to haunt you. William A. The police are trying to say I assaulted a guy with a sheet of sandpaper. He or she who laughs last at the boss's jokes probably isn't far from retirement. 19. The doctor replies, "OK. Touch your elbow.". When Can I Retire?, and Whats My Retirement Income. From the movie: Judge Dredd. HUMOROUS RETIREMENT QUOTES Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous When I was sixty-five - I still had pimples. JONATHAN CLEMENTS. Your happy retirement wishes in a greeting card, email, or text are a pat on the back, a standing ovation, a hearty toast celebrating both the accomplishment and expectations that retirement represents.. Tailor your best wishes to the retiree as well as your level of relationship or appropriateness given your . George Bernard Shaw, The really frightening thing about middle age is that you know youll grow out of it. Pinterest. I'm Retired. What did the police officer say to the hand? Why couldnt police notify the family of the murdered baker? Why did the coffee call 911? It is the beginning of the open highway. Satchel Paige, A goal without a plan is just a wish. We will dearly miss you, your humor, and your jokes. Retirement Party. 4. Jim Bishop, Dont play too much golf. I wish i can also retire right now so that i don t need to call anyone boss. Find GIFs with the latest and newest hashtags! Prepare for the worst. Terri Guillemets, Tips for retirement from the science of happiness, In retirement, I look for days off from my days off. To me, a job is an invasion of privacy. Unknown, He who laughs last at the bosss jokes probably isnt far from retirement. Unknown, There are some who start their retirement long before they stop working. Robert Half, Retirement: its nice to get out of the rat race, but you have to learn to get along with less cheese. Gene Perret, You cant retire from being great. Unknown, Some of the best memories are made in flip flops. Kellie Elmore, We make a living by what we get. "Retirement is like a long vacation in Las Vegas. Carolyn Leigh and Cy Coleman Jump in! If you give one of these to a colleague, friend, or family member that is looking forward to retirement, it will surely help you communicate your appreciation. "Here's to a well-deserved and happy retirement! email addresses were disqulified from the list and couldn't be sent. 623-975-0880. Betty White. The guy touches his elbow and winces in . I hate a fellow whom pride or cowardice or laziness drive into a corner, and who does nothing when he is there but sit and growl. You will always have a home here. Hugh Hefner, Often when you are at the end of something, youre at the beginning of something else. Many people take no care of their money till they come nearly to the end of it, and others do just the same with their time. Source Unknown, Gods retirement plan is out of this world. 12. Else, I would have to go to the police station and report you to the cops. 52. An officer sees a man exit a bar at closing time and get into his car. 7. Showering is Now Optional. I got stopped last night by a police officer. Share this quote on Facebook Send via Mail . Dianne Nahirny, "A lot of our friends complain about their retirement. You've got a new assignment officer - enjoying your retirement! This is in line with the philosophy of the joy of being retired website which is to celebrate retirement and laugh at it instead of looking at it as a bad thing. 54. 4. Why did the police arrest the turkey? Discover and share police retirement quotes funny. What do you call a cat that was caught by the police? They aren't going to get rid of me that way. 50 Retirement Quotes: Inspirational and Funny Retirement Sayings. James M. Barrie, A man ought to work. Funny police retirement quotes sayings. Let him come out as I do, and bark. Get updates on new posts directly to your inbox! May the wife have a happy time. A. acted upon as a complete financial plan. Go make the most of your days and enjoy your retirement. Police Retirement Quotes and Plaque Wording Ideas #653-1 "Thin Blue Line" Police Retirement Plaque Wording Idea Honoring Your Service Presented to Retired Sergeant In appreciation for over 31 years of loyal and dedicated service to the People of the City of New York. Capitalize on what comes. I, for one, happen to fall in the first category. Browse all famous retirement quotes below, or select a specific topic from this list: The trouble with retirement is that you never get a day off. 90 Anti-Jokes So Serious They're Hilarious. Explore our collection of motivational and famous quotes by authors you know and love. I didn't grow up with professionals that retired.